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November 29, 2005

Kris Kringle Names

I know some office companies, school classes, friends or families practice exchanging Christmas gifts to one another in a special Christmas party gathering.

In some events, participants were either assigned a "baby" (person to whom a Christmas item is given) or drew their own "baby" randomly from a collection of rolled-up papers of codenames. For the first option, there is a name keeper that holds a record of "parents" and their corresponding "babies" (this name keeper usually does not participate in the Kris Kringle).

In our office, this year, I (in)voluntarily became the name keeper because I voluntarily created some outrageous and downright silly codenames. The initial batch of names were already funny, but as I created more names, the process grew on me. The funny response I get from my co-employees inspired me to continue on with devising codenames that I volunteered to become this year's name keeper.

While last year's batch of codenames were a combination of body parts and descriptions in Tagalog (example, Maitim na Singit or Blackened Groin Area in translation and Pangong Ilong or Flattened Nose in English), this time the codenames are a combination of animal names with uber weird descriptions (in Taglish speak).

Here's a list of some of my favorite codenames I created. You might use them in your own Kris Kringle if you haven't gotten enough name ideas for your parties.

  • Alimangong tumatahol (Barking crab. Eh?)

  • Arwanang may pimples (Arowana fish with acne problem)

  • Balyenang may elesi (Whale with helicopter fan blades)

  • Bangus na sinisipon (Milkfish with colds)

  • Buteteng may braces (Tadpole with teeth braces)

  • Camel na may manibela (Camel with steering wheel)

  • Chihuahuang adik sa cherifer (Chihuahua addicted to local growth syrup medicine)

  • Cobrang may goiter (Cobra with goiter. What else? Duh?)

  • Coyoteng bungal (Coyote with no teeth and all gums)

  • Elepanteng naka-bra (Elephant wearing a bra. Yes, it's true.)

  • Garapatang naka-tsupon (Dog lice with pacifier)

  • Hipong may balbas (Shrimp with beard)

  • Kabayong naka-diaper (Horse wearing a diaper. Must be a pony.)

  • Kiti-kiting naka-swimsuit (Mosquito larvae wearing a yellow polka dot bikini)

  • Kunehong may battery (The Energizer rabbit)

  • Kwagong ututin (Farting owl. Ever seen one? Ala, the Rock of WWF: Can you smeeeellll what's this owl is cooking?)

  • Lintang may bigote (Leech with moustache)

  • Pagong na may high heels (Turtle wearing stilettos)

  • Pating na may pustiso (Shark with false teeth)

  • Poodle na bouncer (Soft and fluffy poodle working as a disco bar bouncer)

  • Pumang naka-addidas (Play of words: Puma cat wearing Addidas shoes)

  • Sawang nangungulangot (Snake picking its nose. How does it do that? Beats me)

  • Skunk na amoy cologne (Skunk wearing Axe deo-cologne)

  • Starfish na rectangle (Starfish that is rectangular in shape. Freak of nature I guess)

  • Tahong na may pangil (Mussel with fangs. Classic.)

  • Tunang naka-wheelchair (Tuna fish on a wheelchair)

November 24, 2005

Things You (May) Ought To Think About

Searching the Internet to research (really huh?) and find any tip or clue on how to solve a particular problem may land you in some sites either trash or treasure or something like this.

Eventually, you end up with more questions than answers.

Here's a classic one I'm more familiar with and I usually find as a joke rehashed in comic strips: "Can you face a problem if the problem is your face?". Ha, if you ask me, I don't have that problem. Except acne. Acne when you're already into adulthood. Acne that attacks with revenge into adulthood.


November 22, 2005

The Flaming Toe

Hooray for the Internet, I could browse easily for any ready information regarding medical maladies. Currently, I am experiencing excruciating inflammation at the middle toe of my left foot. It's swollen and swelling. I got a cut mysteriously nicked at the one side of my middle toe where the nail and skin meets (I know things are getting gross from here so bear with me).

Is this paronychia? Paron-whatever.

Blood has formed but has dried up. I believe pus has formed but it's not visible on the outside. I don't want to touch my swollen appendage nor try to pry open the wound for fear of aggravating it. All I could do was clean the wound and occasionally swab the area with a cotton ball dabbed in alcohol. And every time I do that, I feel like I'm stabbing my toe with a singed knife. It's painful, but sometimes, I'll do it again and again.

I know, this is one weird behavior among us humans - we know an act can be painful, but we sometimes repeat the same behavior either consciously or unconsciously.

But I'm glad I'm still able to walk around. Walking around not in a perfect posture that is. I plan to visit a doctor and have this checked up.

November 21, 2005

Timeout For A Block

[*cough* *cough* *cough*]

Blogger's block (if there's such a thing).

Momentarily scratching my head...

[*cough* *cough* *cough*]

November 15, 2005

McDonald's Stripsearch

Forwarded by an officemate, I find this utterly disturbing and mind-boggling especially that the female assistant manager followed word for word every command from someone over the telephone just to.

Amazing. It took about more than 2 hours before she noticed something is not right with handling this poor female employee before she called the right authorities.

I think her logic (plus her disgusting fiancé) has been depleted from indulging too much in fattening burger patties and high-cholesterol french fries.

November 11, 2005

The Wedding In My Mind

Nope. It's not my wedding. It's a wedding of one of my Magic buddies in college held at the Santuario de San Antonio, Forbes, Makati City last Saturday.

Elegance in simplicity, everyone was in their best formal attire. Relatives from outside the country attended the said wedding. It's one happy reunion among the relatives, friends, and officemates of the bride and groom.

The reception was held in the Manila Peninsula. Being held in a five-star hotel, one could expect the best in ambience, facilities and services. Buffet style dinner was served with the entries personally selected by the newlyweds. Since both of them are health-buffs and gym-goers, the selection was truly on the healthier side: mostly leafy vegetables and cold cuts for appetizers and chicken, lean beef and fish-based dishes for the main course.

But the main focus is of course with our friend and his lovely wife. I can't help but smile every time a new picture of the couple is projected over a white mantel. The sincere, happy look between the two as they gaze each other while strolling over a beach backdrop.

Kind of weird to have this feeling of being sentimental all of a sudden whenever I remember events such as these. Maybe because I knew I'm getting old and seeing some of friends have already tied the knot puts pressure to me to be serious and finally plan out the rest of my life.

In the world where mistrust, infidelity, and cynicism ruins a marital relationship (and eventually leads to bitter separation), it's refreshing to enjoy and share a moment in time in witnessing a covenant of love between two people, hoping their relationship would be strong and last for a lifetime.

Good luck and God bless to them. Amen.

November 08, 2005

The Dog Bats

Finally, the lowly Philippine fruit bat is getting some attention.

My first close encounter with the creature was way back when I was around ten or eleven (I think). I was with my cousins playing around in the sprawling front yard of one of our cousin's grandparent's house in Bulacan. We all noticed some bats perched upside down a tree. We all took a closer look of the critters when suddenly one bat started to stretch out its rubbery wings as if aroused from deep slumber. The bat looked nothing like the frightening vampire bats (pug nose and fangs) most are used to seeing in horror movies. This one resembles a dog - a hairy unshaven dog with dark circular eyes and a pointy snout. Hmmm. I believe that's why these are technically named as dog-faced fruit bats.

I vaguely remember the rest of that fateful day as all I could recall was one of these bats fell down from the tree (I don't remember my cousins throwing stones at these creatures). A cruel fate awaits the bat though as some dogs inside the house were already waiting patiently below the tree–the dogs suddenly pounced at the screeching bat, trashing it on the dusty pavement. We all frantically stopped the dogs from tearing up the poor bat.

Luckily, the bat survived the onslaught. The bat lay struggling on the pavement. One of us picked up the creature and slowly perched it on a lowly branch of a tree. Instinctively it attached itself upside down; its bloodshot eyes showed pain while it silently whimpered (as if it's saying "What the f$%* did you do that for?"). I can't stand the scene; I left the vicinity without a word but with a heavy heart.

I could still see these species of bats down south of the city. I would see them flying low during the late afternoon, at dusk, while I walk to the gym in Westgate area, Alabang. Before I even arrive at our house, I would sometimes catch them whiz by from one tree to another in our subdivision (evening).

Some trivia: I remember this old comedic horror movie Saturday the 14th which I watched as a kid (with my two hands covering my eyes but sometimes curiously peeking out in between my fingers). In one scene in an attic, a man and a woman were looking at a bat. The woman asked her companion: "Oh, look. Isn't that that boy Bavarian from Budapest?". The man answered back: "No, that's a fruit bat from the Philippines." Quote here.

November 04, 2005

Just Passing By

Will be back on Monday. Looooong vacation indeed. Nothing beats a time off from everything to rejuvenate.

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Known to be the webmaster of the defunct Taym Matsing website (well, that's old news now...)